Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Celebrating Normalcy

The last couple of days, I have felt normal. Normal is WEIRD for me (no jokes please ;)) You see, when I'm driving down the road, it's not very often that I feel calm and focused. I often feel light headed and like my eyes can't really focus. So to be able to feel really focused when I'm driving is great. To be able to calmly deal with my daughter's tantrums is not something I have the energy to do on most days. And to wake up withOUT a racing heart is awesome.
All of these are just kind of things a lot of people probably take for granted. But they are things I have not been able to enjoy for awhile.
So today, I am celebrating normalcy. I know I have rambled on about what's going on with me and what I'm doing to treat it. But what I want to make clear is that this is still a very unclear "thing" that is going on with my body. And by no means have all of the answers been found. But I think it's important for other people to understand that this is not just about panic attacks. This is not just about stress. There is an imbalance that has been going on inside of me for a long time. And that imbalance and the effects it physically has on my body has lead to the panic and anxiety attacks.
I can't tell you how happy I am to be treating ALL of this, though. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to not just have some prescription drugs thrown at me to zonk me out as opposed to having panic attacks. Two weeks ago, I wasn't going anywhere or doing anything. And now, after one trip to a natural supplement shop and another to a doctor of Chinese medicine, I have gotten my life back. And I feel NORMAL again. I think that's absolutely worth celebrating :)

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