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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Hypothetical Pregnancy

I had a thought the other day. What if I were pregnant like so many women I know right now? What would that do for me? The thought process went something like this.

I would be so stressed out.
Would I have to quit taking a medication I take right now?
That would be a big adjustment. Would I be able to do that?
How would I handle labor?
I'm such a different person than I was last time I gave birth.
How would I find the peace? Would there BE peace?
I would need to take so many measures to avoid post partum depression. Gosh, that is so scary. I can't even imagine for one second being put in the position to have to deal with PPD. That's like the scariest thing ever...

And on and on it went. And these thoughts have occured to me on numerous occasions because my first and thus far only child is almost 4 and so many friends are having second and third and fourth and sixth babies. and it's just natural for me to imagine having another child that I DO want... one day.

But then I had a startling revelation... What if all of this happened? What if we became pregnant unexpectedly? And there were all of these decisions and added responsbilibities?
And What If... What IF... I gave it to God like I know I'm supposed to do? How CRAZY would THAT be?
And I use the hypothetical pregnancy example because I think it's a good one. It's a scenario where there are nine months of issues, followed by the greatest achievement of mankind (bringing a child into this world ;)) and tons of fun, beautiful, complicated things afterwards.
And to imagine giving not just one tiny thing, not just one medium-sized thing... but the entire weight of all that would come with another pregnancy at this upside-down point in out lives... to imagine giving ALL of that to God was a foreign and beautiful concept. It really gave the whole "idea" new meaning to me.
It was like "yeah! HEY! That's what you're SUPPOSED TO DO!" And maybe God smiled just a tiny little smile because maybe, just maybe, I am beginning to understand. Just a little.

God Bless,
Melissa

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