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Friday, January 21, 2011

The Modern Mommy

Tonight, I finally gathered the strength to do something productive. So after dinner, I came upstairs and cleaned the bathrooms. I scrubbed and wiped and took out trash. Not a huge feat, but defintely production.
When I was done, I put Abbie in her PJ's and brushed her teeth. I rubbed Vicks all over her chest and feet because she has a cold and her cough wakes her up at night.
I read her 2 stories, patted her back, and gave lots of hugs and kisses.
I ironed my husband's shirt because he got home at 8 tonight and has to be gone again by 5:45 a.m.
I put Abbie BACK to bed and cleaned up the kitchen some.
I felt like a real housewife... doing all my dutily housewife duties.

And that's okay. I love being available and helpful for my family. Some women would cringe at the thought of making an evening out of these activities, but I don't. At all. In a way, it's what my life is all about right now.
I've spent years having to rush through bedtime routines because I had to get an assignment turned in or a chapter read or a paper written. I've spent hours yelling at my husband because he doesn't get enough done around the house after working 50, 60, or 70 hour work weeks. And I've spent nearly the entire time I've had a family having to put that family on the back burner because I was working, going to school, and doing 18 other things that were pulling and tugging me in every direction. No, I don't feel like I've neglected them. But I do feel like I've neglected me. I wasn't the mother or wife or person I wanted to be and, right now in life, that's where I'm trying to get to.

Less than 3 months ago, I say in a counselor's office with one of my dearest friends and my husband. We were all there because we feared I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. And less than 3 months ago, that counselor suggested that I check myself into a mental hospital to recuperate from the damage that had been done by all the stress I'd been under.

To think that, in less than 90 days or so, I have completely transformed my life is so unreal to me. But it's true. It can only give me unbelievable hope for where I may be 90 days from now.


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